Brick

BitchlyBitchly said:
Since viewing Brick many weeks ago, it has left an unpleasant feeling stewing inside of me, much like that left after eating spicy chili. Much to my chagrin, there is no digestive track designed for awful movies. Alas, I am left having to purge onto the page the feelings of angst, anger, and remorse I have for the two hours of my life that I spent viewing this cinematic atrocity, courteously brought to you by Joseph Gordon Levitt and many, many others. Let us begin with some of the things that irked me about this movie:

• Is time no longer relevant in movies because I was uncertain whether this was 1945 pretending to be 2005 or 2005 pretending to be 1945
• Regardless of the time period, no teenagers have EVER spoken in the awkward, fast-paced, mafioso-type dialect that was used by the characters
• One of the main settings in the movie was at a school but, perhaps due to low production costs, the characters never actually saw the inside of the building. It reminded me of a frustrating video game where there is much to see, but little to explore
• Maybe this movie was set in the future, in a world where teenagers rule and spontaneously reproduce, because there were few people above the age of 17 in the foreground or background
  
• While all of the characters were young, the actors portraying them were unbelievable as high school students. It was more realistic for me to think of them going home to their young families then to their bedrooms filled with posters of 30 Seconds to Mars
• The plot was meandering, unbelievable, and uninteresting

You might be wondering if there was anything decent about this film. Although there was little, the whole notion that teenagers are isolated, have bloated egos, and are convinced that they rule the world was the most realistic thing about Brick. Also, I came away with a greater appreciation for the long-hated TV series "3rd Rock From the Sun," which also starred Joseph Gordon Levitt. At least the TV show had plot development, was generally believable, and had JGL as a kid pretending to be a kid, not as an adult-pretending-to-be-a-kid- pretending-to-be-an-adult. Hopefully now that this is off my chest, I will be able to sleep at night and get the images of this awkward romp through teenage egotism out of my head.